058a - Missing Identity
SpongeBob is at a diner on a dark and weary morning, while rain is pouring down. A patron is solving a crossword puzzle, and realizes that he has lost his pen. A waitress says he can borrow hers, and does. SpongeBob says he once lost something: his identity.
He recounts the events of last Monday. He wakes up, and throwing his blanket into the air, he says: "Good morning, world, and all who inhabit it!" The blanket falls on him, and SpongeBob, not being able to see, falls off his bed and his alarm clock falls on top of his head. He falls down the stairs and the alarm propels him into the window. He feeds Gary, and comments that he has been feeding Gary snail food for years and doesn't even know what it tastes like. He tastes it, is revolted, and his disgust is sensed at the headquarters of the company that makes the snail food. He looks at the clock and realizes that he is late for work, and quickly gets changed and skips to work. While he is skipping to work, Patrick greets SpongeBob.
Later, as SpongeBob serves food to a customer, the customer tells him that he should wear a name tag so that she can thank him properly. He indicates that he is indeed wearing a name tag, but then realizes that his name tag is missing. He panics, hyperventilates, and eventually faints.
When he wakes up, he asks Squidward what happened. Squidward tells him that he fainted because he lost his name tag, but assures him that his name tag is not that important, and SpongeBob hyperventilates again. However, just as he says this, Mr. Krabs comes out of his office and informs them that there's a uniform inspection in one hour and anyone who fails has to wear a stinky boot all day. Squidward tells SpongeBob that he should retrace his steps.
SpongeBob repeats everything he did that morning several times, including his "horrific incident of terror" with the alarm clock and eating the snail food. SpongeBob repeats it many times because Patrick always fails to try to say "Hi" to him, like for example, he says "Hi, SpongeBoob" and more. Still SpongeBob fails to find his name tag. Patrick asks him if he did anything else on his way to work, and SpongeBob says that he said hello to Old Man Jenkins, put an apple on Mr. Krabs' desk, and was thrown into a dumpster by two thugs. Patrick suggests looking in the dumpster, and they go searching there. During the search, SpongeBob gives Patrick two hints but he is confused. SpongeBob does a double take of Jack Benny while wondering, but panics that he has one minute left. Patrick finds SpongeBob's name tag on the back of his shirt, and when he alerts him to this and SpongeBob turns around, it seems to disappear and Patrick can't remember where it was. SpongeBob is confused, but when Patrick says: "At least I don't wear my shirt backwards!," SpongeBob realizes that he had his name tag all along, and his shirt was just backwards. At the uniform inspection, however, Mr. Krabs smells SpongeBob and is disgusted by the stench of the dumpster, and seemingly suspends him from working at the Krusty Krab.
SpongeBob finishes telling his story, and thanks the waitress for listening, calling her "Betty." She says that her name isn't Betty, and that she just borrowed someone else's uniform while hers is getting cleaned. When SpongeBob learns this, he ends the episode doing a Jack Benny double-take, like earlier from the episode.